Thursday, August 2, 2012

My Husband Says The Dumbest Things


My husband is a very smart man but sometimes he says the dumbest things…

Like today, when he asked me what on earth I do each school morning between 7am (when he leaves for work) and 8:15am (when I take my eldest son to school)…


Well, dear husband - here’s what I do:




7am: Get Mr 5’s uniform and breakfast ready. Get myself breakfast. Have detailed discussion with Mr 5 about whether a giraffe or a zebra would run faster.

7:15am: Get Mr 1’s breakfast and strap him in the high chair while I shower and get myself half dressed.




7:30am: Yell at Mr 5 to hurry up and finish his breakfast. Let Mr 1 out of his highchair but not before he spills his cup of milk all over the floor. Clean up spilt milk and high chair disaster zone while still only half dressed. Wash up whilst yelling at Mr 5 to hurry up and get dressed.


7:45am: Finish getting dressed in something that does not require ironing and slap on some lipstick, all the while arguing with Mr 5 over whether he needs to wear a jacket in the middle of winter. Locate the form due back at school today and put in school bag. Decide on what to have for dinner. Play ‘Where’s mummy’s shoes?’ with Mr 1.

8am: Chase Mr 1 all over the house trying to dress him. Make myself a coffee, while discussing what clouds are made of with Mr 5. Throw together a lunchbox for Mr 1 to take to Playgroup. Give him half the food in the lunchbox because he spots me packing it. Remind Mr 5 to pack his bag for the 23rd time this morning.


8:15am: Yell at Mr 5 to get in the car. Send Mr 5 back inside to get his school bag. Throw Mr 1 in the car. Go back inside for my coffee and then we’re off. Hang on – where’s Mr 1’s shoes? Go back for his shoes. Now we’re really off but it won’t be until we arrive at school that I discover Mr 1 has kindly wiped his dirty hands on the back of my shirt.

So dear husband, that is what on earth I do each morning...


What dumb things has your husband said to you?







13 comments:

  1. Haha love it! Until they experience it, men just don't get it!

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    1. You are so right, Chrissie! They just don't get it, do they?

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  2. Great post honey. My husband asks me ridiculous questions like "why is there a half eaten biscuit behind the telly" - eh? because we have small children. Guarantee I'll at least one a day! x

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    1. Thanks Catherine! I love your husband's question - does he think that you secretly put half-eaten biscuits behind the telly just to annoy him? :)

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  3. They just have no clue, do they ? No clue.
    My husband says a lot of dumb things. My drafts folder is overflowing with posts about them :)

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  4. Thanks for stopping by, Grace! Sounds like you know exactly what I'm talking about. :)

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  5. My husband says he would like to be a stay at home dad when I'm ready to go back to work! That is hilarious. Don't get me wrong, I'd love it, and I'm happy to have a husband that feels this way, but I can't wait for him to get the shock of his life when he realises it's not all fun and games, and the amount of work it takes to keep our house clean! Good luck honey hehehe

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    1. He he. Bet he wouldn't last one day! :)

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  6. Oh husbands! Mine asked me the other day what it was that I did all day! We have an 11 week old baby and I'm completing my Masters right now! I couldn't believe it!

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    1. Oh Lisa! When my son was 11 weeks old, I could barely get out of my pyjamas before lunchtime - let alone study. I'm very impressed! As for your husband, he sounds as clueless as my husband. :)

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  7. My husband isn't too bad, as I work 33 hours a week so he's just as involved with getting Mr 4 to school a couple days a week and picking him up, he also cooks dinner and does the grocery shopping.
    However...THE dumbest thing he has ever said to me was in between contractions, at 3 am, "Are we going to the hospital or not, because I need to shower." He left me to time my own contractions and had a shower!!!

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  8. Ha! That is unbelievable! Reminds me of the time when I was 38 weeks pregnant and my husband saw me packing my suitcase for hospital and asked where I was going!! :)

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  9. Ah husbands, they just have no idea do they. Mr.P wondered what I did all day when he first went back to work and I was a full-time SAHM and why I couldn't get the kitchen clean. So I left the munchkin with him for half a day while I went out one weekend and when I got home I think the kitchen looked even worse than when I'd left. He never has asked me again why I haven't cleaned the kitchen!

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